It’s that time of year when many thoughts turn to Self-Improvement, and planning for a better future. Yet, often seeds of frustration and failure are within the motivation of many New Year’s Resolutions.
“What could be misdirected about wanting to be better?” You might ask.
It is not the desired thing or state that determines the outcome of a resolution, it is the “wanting” itself.
“Wanting” expresses the state of “lack.” Something or someone is needed to fill what currently seems lacking: better job, more money, more love, less weight, more simplicity, etc.
How can one give up wanting? Isn’t it just another “want” to want to stop wanting?
Yes, that’s right. It is not possible to stop wanting when there is something we want.
Yet, it is possible to recognize that our true identity is not a personality that needs something..
When we want something, our attention is focused on what we are lacking. What seems necessary is out there somewhere.
It is possible to turn our attention toward the substance of being. Instead of looking to fill ourselves up with something external, we can become interested in asking, “Who are we? and what is the purpose of our lives?” Suddenly the focus of attention is on discovering what constitutes what already is – our being. While we may not be aware of answers right away, whatever it is is not lacking, and it’s not “out there” somewhere.
Metapsychiatry suggests that our substance is the qualities of being that constitute the wholeness of reality, such as: harmony, clarity, inspired wisdom, integrity, joy.
And, the purpose of our life is to be the best expression of these eternal qualities that is possible at any moment. This is an Every-Moment-Resolution that flows from the awareness that we are aspects of what is perfectly whole already. We just don’t see it all the time.
The interesting “side-effect” of this commitment is that as we turn to these qualities as guides for living, these qualities begin to express themselves in the circumstances of our lives, and our lives become inspired.